During worship this Sunday we engaged in an imaginative re-writing of Luke’s gospel story of the woman annointing Jesus’ feet. We listened to the scripture reading, then we were encouraged to inject our own ideas of how it might be played out with contemporary characters. So, we broke into small groups, which were each given the task of substituting one of the main chracters in the story; the Pharisee, the woman, Jesus, the setting, the ointment. When we came back together as one large group we offered our ideas, and made some adjustments, in order to weave them together into a coherent story. This was then immediately read out to the whole church. Here are written versions of those readings that hopefully capture that work:
Luke 7:36-50 (Revised St. Andrew’s Version)
Prime Minister Howard had just won a close election. Feeling enormously justified he hosted a summer dinner party at Kirribilli House. He invited Nelson Mandella as one of the guests, and Mandella turned up and took his place at the table.
A local aboriginal woman, who scraped out a living through prostitution, heard that Mandella would be there, and made her way into the house carrying a bottle of Chanel #5. When she found him sitting at the table she approached him, and as he turned to greet her, she poured the perfume over his sandals to honour him and the ground on which he trod.
Howard said to himself, “If this man were the activist for equality he’s claimed to be, he would ignore her race and see her for what she’s done. She’s a family-busting sex-worker.”
Mandella raised his voice into the embarrassed silence, “Prime Minister, I have something to say to you.”
”It’s a free country,” said Howard, “have your say, Ambassador.”
“A certain international investor had loaned two people money. One owed him five million and the other five thousand. When it was discovered that neither could pay, the investor cancelled each of their debts. Which one will love him more?”
”I suppose it would be the one who had had the greater debt cancelled,” replied Howard.
”You’re right,” said Mandella. Then he indicated to the woman who was still rubbing perfume around his ankles, softly chanting. “Can you look at this woman? When I arrived, you were busy with your other guests, so I found my own way to the table. She has sought me out. You provided me with little welcome to your home, and yet she has been chanting a sacred welcome to the land for me since she found me. I tell you, her great social shame has now been erased; and that is why she shows such great love. But the one who believes they don’t need to say ’sorry’, loves little.”
Then Mandella said to her, “Sister believe that your sins are forgiven.” And those at the table murmered amongst themselves, “Who is he to declare reconcilliation here?” Mandella said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”
Luke 7:36-50 (Revised Pentland Version)
Donald Trump invited Princess Dianna and Cardinal George Pell to eat with him at an open-house party he was holding at his mansion in Palm Beach. Both accepted, and on arrival took their place at the upstairs table reserved for the select guests. Another woman at the party, whose favours were known to many of the high-flying executive men, heard that Dianna was dining upstairs. Smiling at the bouncer standing on the stairs, she slid past in her red satin Armani dress to locate the famed princess.
On entering the dining room, she was confronted by the scene of Dianna fighting down embarrassment, and Cardinal Pell fighting down a smirk. A huge stain of red wine was splashed across Dianna’s white chiffon evening gown and Pell was seeming to enjoy the scandal of the situation. Dianna’s minders were nowhere to be seen, so the woman crossed the floor to behind Dianna’s chair and began to strip off her red satin evening gown. Standing there in her work clothes, she handed the dress to Dianna, and pointed out the nearest ladies room.
With the woman standing in full view behind Dianna’s empty chair, Pell mentioned to his publicist, “If this princess were half as savvy as people claim she is, she’d realise what kind of girl it is she’s swapping dresses with.”
As Dianna walked back to her place at the table she spoke clearly over the noise to Cardinal Pell, “Cardinal, I have a riddle for you.”
“Speak, princess,” he replied.
“A certain real estate magnate had loaned two people money. One owed him five million and the other five thousand. When it was discovered that neither could pay, the magnate cancelled each of their debts. Which one of them will love him more?”
“The one who owed more money of course,” Pell answered, looking at Trump.
“You’re right,” said Dianna as she came to stand next to the woman still waiting defiantly behind the empty chair. “Can you look at this woman? I sat here humiliated while you choked down your humour, but it was she who simply showed me where the toilets were. Without even lifting a napkin, you sat back as though you were waiting for the paparazzi, while she stripped off her modesty so that I might feel restored to the limelight. So I tell you, however deeply she may have screwed up her life or other’s, I forgive her; that’s why she has shown this transparent display of love and trust. But those who seem to have it all together, couldn’t care less about forgiveness, or others for that matter.”
Then Dianna said softly to the woman, “Anything you’ve done wrong up to now is forgiven. As far as I’m concerned, you’re welcome at my place anytime.” A chorus of whispers rose from the gossip-mongers at the table who heard her. “Go, and find peace for yourself,“ said Dianna.
